an early self ah ha

Reading for
October 25, 2009
The first day of kindergarten had started off as pure magic. There were two huge rooms full of kids my age to play and play all day. The incredible scents that would remain with me all my days began to be ensconced in the “favorite things” part of my brain . Erasers, paper tablets, the alcohol fragrance from the duplicating machine that turned out those lavender colored handouts, and, of course that pasty opaque whitish glue; all hit their sweet mark. I began to think my philosophical inquiries into life just might have to be put aside as I seemed to need all my energy for simply enjoying life.
That’s when the 8 struck.
Why the number 8 chose to be my nemesis, I know not; but, there is was challenging me to script it. I tried and tried and tried but to no avail, I could not write the number “8”.
At one point I considered beating the system with posing a snowman as an “8”. And it was at this point that the concept of my life's navigational system took shape. A perception of truth started a perpetual motion gyroscope inside me. Like a great magician's rookie apprentice, I had no idea the power this held.
Life's first bit of self awareness - I could not fool myself.
I went as far as making a feeble effort at seeing if I might skate past inspection (feeling more uncomfortable with trying to fool teacher than with neglecting my education). Not much more than sort of a wish that she might “cut me some slack” {with both of us really knowing it was a snowman and not an eight} could be mustered. I furtively glanced to the giant nursery rhyme characters pinned up on the walls. Was there room to hide in the midst of all those children playing in that shoe the little old woman lived in?
Unbeknownst to me, Sister Spongia did her doctoral thesis on writing the number "8".
I tried to hide under the little tables we were at, but Sister's words were powerful and had papal dispensation to pass through wood, steel, and probably even lead. "Henry!” That isn’t the number "8", it’s a snowman. I knew that, and I knew she would know that – but I was just hoping for a break.
Busted at the age of 5!
My mind flashed to that new thing in our house called television. The other day - much the way I was - Ming the merciless had to face facts when Flash Gordon declared:”.... you didn’t think you’d get away with it, did you Ming!!” At least I didn't have my brain melted with the death ray.
Though {or because} I was only five, I was certain that my thriving's hinge-pin would squeak tortuously [“you didn’t think you’d get away with it, did you Henry!!”] if I didn't act according to how things simply were - and be true to myself.


PRESENT DAY drift
    Fall's farm fields beamed golden haze images. October's crisp air induced heat to flow, while its warm sun pried the sun roof open. I oozed my car to an isolated stop at the intersection of two Indiana rural routes. Accompanied but by the sounds of George Harrison's “ My Sweet Lord” - time stalling - a cord in psyche vibed. In the song, there is a notable refrain which implores: “..............I really want to see you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, really want be with You,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, really want to see You, Lord.............” - and as I was singing along, without missing a beat, my soul sung : "but not alone".
Don't forget anyone, Lord.
That yearning labored in my heart's daylight just this calendar October. The willing acceptance of a world compelled to start every human life as destined to suffer, and picking winners and losers according to contest rules, however ~~ struck me with tremendous pause ~~ even when I sat in that all too rigid, very uncomfortable desk/chair, in Sister Felicia's first grade classroom.

1952 drift
I calmed my wiggle-worm body by concentrating on the old souls circumnavigating the room. They were somehow present in the symbols that were confined to two or three places on the walls; but, just looking at them made me feel a vastness well beyond our school building.
Class started off great. Teacher was actually echoing the very concerns I had. She spoke that first question that got me all pumped up from the start: “what am I doing here on earth?”
Sister Felicia got my total attention when she began telling everyone the answer. I really, really liked the way it began.
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Happy daze,
The Captain