Unanswered Fully Totally Conscious

unanswered fully totally conscious.........no longer air breathing ......more as entire immersion in treacly tea potion awakening from dream dreaming more deeply knowing not of which I am but searching for you.............
not finding you I search for God.........then at some oasis in time some part of you revealed in creation totally distracts me........................... morning with first shafts of light upon cathedral-ed soul held fragilely in aging sacristy but I can not argue with God for such light ensconced in chapel-ed youth never expecting waves of battle raging in Occupied Heart yet blooms a flower in defiance to the war warring realities of distance difference time upon this earth speeds of selves physical carriers of soul needing pleading intervention Divine and visiting expectancy hopes upon nothing secure only in desire's hope............................................
I have
no arms to hold you when I most need to hold you
I have
no eyes to see you when I most need to see you
I have
no lips to kiss you when I most need to kiss you
The twin sirens of chaos dance now with around to and fro of/with/about me along the many-sided-line that God draws in the sand.....there is the glow of your light yes I have not crossed it no I have not yet even neared too close as the light upon the slightest encroachment becomes a sun.........totally consuming as I dance/mull/wonder chaoses and all the rest of the worlds beckoning unknown
day or night my longing makes to know not
nor Reason or Season
To God you attract me
From God you distract me
To God you direct me
From God you direct me
never expected waves of battle raging in Occupied Heart yet blooms a flower in defiance to the war.......................................

.................. unanswered fully totally conscious